Sherlock

perpl3xity


perpl3xity

The Things I Think About Sometimes.


This is somewhat of a stream-of-consciousness blog
Sherlock
perpl3xity
I can't sleep, unsurprisingly, so these are some of the things on my mind.

I'm in the process of coming out as (grey) asexual. I don't know how many people are going to end up reading this, but you're now among the people I have told, who at this point can be counted on one hand with leftovers. I would love to find some contacts to talk about this with- i'm familiar with AVEN, but i'd rather not start off with total strangers, i'm sure you understand.

the more i think about my thought processes from different points in my life, the more it amazes me that it took me this long to figure out. i'm doing a lot of both literal and figurative facepalming thinking about it.

I really didn't think it was all that big of a deal when i first started telling people. Up until basically right now i even struggled with whether or not i should consider it "coming out." because i really didn't believe that it would change anything, and that since i'd always been this way i was just applying a label to the way i'd always been. i figured coming out was reserved for people whose behavior would significantly change thereafter, as in bringing home one gender of partners over another, or what have you (im so inarticulate right now i apologize) but once i started gauging peoples' reactions, i realized slowly that it really is significant.  but like...to whom? are my parents (or younger brother for that matter) really going to want to know that im not sexually interested in anyone (generally)? my sex life has never been their business in the past, why start now?

and my good friend at school. her world is incredibly black-and-white. i have my doubts that she would be able to wrap her head around a new sexual orientation. she made a big deal about me telling her i was an atheist, and she doesn't even go to church. she has a bisexual friend, who she routinely describes as "confused." when she can't make a decision, she says it's because she's a girl. do you see where i'm going with this? do i even want her to know?

on another note entirely

Sometimes I remember that somewhere in the north of England, there lives an attractive young man who has a memory of talking to me in a club in Berlin, with the clear intent of chatting me up and etc, and i just...kind of want to yell at the clouds about it. In a good but also kind of regretful way. We had such a good conversation...we could have had such a good time (in a less sexually-charged way than you might think)

a lot of the time now I want to go places I've never been before and have some more adventures. My adventures last semester were so incredible, but I don't want it to end there. My life now is so slow. not unpleasant by any stretch of the imagination...but very slow nonetheless. I want to go to Russia and Istanbul and Krakow and Amsterdam and Nuremberg and Copenhagen and Munich again and Berlin forever and Paris and London and Stockholm and Barcelona and Dublin and Edinborough and Rio and anywhere I can't speak the language or read the signs and i need new money and i have to trust the waiters to bring me food with no meat in it and i walk through the beautiful city to a bed i've rented in a room i might get robbed in that i fall into gratefully at the end of the day to sleep and look at my photos and make temporary hostel friendships

and i have every intention of doing so in the not-far-distant future

i'm also wondering what platonic partnership actually entails, and then how to explain it to someone else.

im going to go ahead and basically distance myself from a lot of the early content on this blog. it documents my thoughts from what turned out to be a very very dark point in my life, and i have grown so much since then.
all of my past tags seem so juvenile...they refer to categories of things that happened before

that's not me anymore

Writer's Block: Flattery will get you everywhere
Sherlock
perpl3xity
What is the last compliment you received?

(no subject)
Sherlock
perpl3xity
My life has been nutty. Absolutely nutty. I've been working hard. And it's continually paying off, but that doesn't mean it's been easy.

I teach dance classes now. Swing dance, for an hour every week. I take swing classes and salsa classes too, also once a week. I have a show next Friday, and I'm so excited.

This is kind of a TMI blog anyway, so I guess I can probably say this here.

I've lost 20 pounds in the last year. I'm quite proud of myself. I wasn't exactly trying to, I just started living a much healthier lifestyle and it started to show. It was kind of proven to me yesterday because my choreographer added this move suddenly to my swing dance where I leap into the air and my partner catches me, and immediately I was like O.O HELL NO. Because for most of my life that would have been out of the question. But then my partner looked at me and said "Yeah I could probably do that." And I said okay because I didn't want to insult the boy but in my head I was thinking I was going to hit the floor. Lo and behold he can catch me no problem. What a thing. Also I'm really into my salsa partner.

I went and saw Panic! at the Disco and Patrick Stump in concert. It was absolutely fucking amazing. I saw them on Halloween, so they all dressed up in costume. Patrick was Satan (and he rocked it so hard). Spencer was Ron Burgundy (an excellent costume), Ian was Hit Girl (mini skirt and all), Dallon was dressed as the opening act (Foxy Shazam...we don't talk about the opening act), and Brendon was Jesus (really who else was he going to be?).  The Jesus thing became kind of a motif for the night, it was brilliant. Also he got too hot 2 songs in and decided to become Sexy Jesus, so he played the rest of the show in his pants and wig. It was glorious.

If you want a more detailed report of the show, feel free to ask. Otherwise, I bid you all adieu.

La Vie en Rose
Sherlock
perpl3xity
Hi Flist!

Just updating to let you all know that I have not died. I am alive and kicking, and working like an animal at school and loving it.

There's too much going on for me to post fully today. But my birthday's tomorrow, and LJ keeps telling me to wish myself a happy birthday, so I am. Happy birthday, Ellen!

Today
Sherlock
perpl3xity
53 new people signed up for swing club today

There is at least one freshman who is a nerdfighter

The Tai Kwon Do club VP was at the table next to me, and he was very good-looking and talked to me during slow spots

I started learning truth-functional logic

It's all good.

(no subject)
Sherlock
perpl3xity
First official house meeting was a rousing success. I love this house. I made cookies (it's practically a nesting ritual for me at this point) and they're delicious. I got my schedule worked out smoothly, the only snag being that the registrar ran out of add/drop slips,and they don't open tomorrow until the start time of the class I need to add. No worries though. The professor's chill, and I can probably get back to him after German if I have to. The way things are going, I'm well on my way to both a biology minor and a political science minor.

I have an 8AM class tomorrow, I should get to bed. Goodnight!

Day 20
Sherlock
perpl3xity
I'm back at school, and I'm halfway moved into my room. Irene is hanging out here, but it's her chill side, the less-than-an-inch-of-rain-with-wind side. The scantily clad drunk women and the drunk men that follow them around are undeterred, and have been seen running about campus hand in hand yelling "Fuck Irene." I am missing certain vital items such as toothpaste, food and coathangers because my parents left immediately after all of my stuff was out of the car. The traditional trip to Wal-Mart was canceled for the sake of Irene. But I've had a good day..

I had two of my friends watch Alice with me. They fell madly in love with Hatter, just like I warned them they would. I even created a new fangirl- she flails for no man...UNTIL NOW. They even flailed all over the internet looking for pictures for a long time afterwards. I've done a good thing.
About an hour from the end (coincidentally my favorite part of the movie) I gave them the disc and shooed them out of the room so I could watch Lets Kill Hitler. SO UM. That happened. To avoid spoilers, some revelations were made that I had guessed already, but also some that were pretty far out of left field. I also saw about half an hour of Bridesmaids, which I strongly disliked. In addition, a repeat of last year's Star Trek drinking game has been requested.

The house we were awarded this year is fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. The only flaw so far is that there are mice in the ceiling, but I'm not bothered about it really. I got into the class I've been trying to get into for a month, and my housemates are really sweet.

There are so many good things today. I'll just leave off here and wish you all good night.

Day 19
Sherlock
perpl3xity
So. Hurricane Irene, eh? Timely name. My storm preparation consists entirely of me packing all of my things into the car so I can go back to school tomorrow, and burning a large pile of old wood that was torn out of my bathroom-in-progress. I find fire to be therapeutic. I could stare at a campfire for hours and not get bored. It bugs me that I can't bring candles when there might be a power outage, though. It makes me feel a lot more exposed. But I guess that's life for everyone who lives somewhere other than in the woods- you can't just do whatever the hell you want. Sigh.

I think that's about it for tonight.

Day 18
Sherlock
perpl3xity
So I heard there was an earthquake. Of course I heard about this quite a while ago, but the follow-up is interesting. The east coast is unprepared for earthquakes in the same way that the west coast is unprepared for floods. We don't have the equipment or the training to deal with them. Speaking of weather, there's supposed to be a hurricane coming.

A local news channel reported a story about a long-term celebrity couple splitting up. Their only source for that information was a tabloid, which they admitted on air, and they followed that up by saying that neither celebrity knew anything about where the rumor came from, nor do any of their friends or family members. Why would you report that?

Day 17
Sherlock
perpl3xity
I am in the midst of a Doctor Who mini marathon. I have no regrets.

RORANICUS PONDICUS WHY DO YOU KEEP DYING.

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